danger to herself and others stef willen is probably mooching off someone in Cambridge Massachusetts

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Stef Willen is a deranged imbecile

SNAP.

Scott Boxenbaum is a crazy douchebag as is Allison Sievers of Lavely and Singer

Just cause I can.

reassessing my resolutions already

Ohmigod, where is my happy ending?

I was raised to believe that whining is bad and so I've avoided blogging as all I felt capable of was whining or bitching or moaning(in that bad way pLOL) and I so don't want to be percieved as negative. But, my issues are not RESOLVING and I'm starting to think that they never will. I've become everything I hate. THIS SUCKS. Yesterday I got into a fight with my co-blogger Alisa as she thought it was a hoot that tea is never going to catch up to Coffee and she had some idea about this in relation to tea parties and the coffee bean... and tea leaf, and then she told me more of her plans and idea or whatever and I just went ballistic on her and said things that I can't bear repeating.

I offerred to take her to Yogurt Stop today to make up for it but she I bet rather go to the Milkshake place and I can't go there since I blacked out there last weekend. She's not speaking to me anyway so I'm stuck with assumptions.
I was at the Abbey and just trying to celebrate getting a temp job in this economy and the next thing I remember is one of the million milkshake employees saying, " Sir, you need to go." I looked down and saw a full greening reddish shake in a cup, " and grabbed it to go as I was thirsty, and the guy said, "Sir, that's vomit," I was so ashamed I don't even know what shake I'd initially ordered. Early the next morning I remembered that I'd ordered a JayZ shake after having 3 pizzas( pies... I know) at Pizza Rustica and that Liz Taylor was at the Abbey and she didn't look well.

I think I need to check out the 12 step store ln Santa monica Blvd because i am having too many humiliating moments lately. I wonder what they sell there.

Blackberry is ringtoning and the lat attack class at Crunch is at 9. So, I'm outta here. LOL. take care.

As much as I admire his ability to be friendly with foreign leaders I don't think obama should have the nobel prize

My title expresses my pretty controversial opinion but I am feeling soooo much less fearful these days after my awful experience with my ex.


I was nesting( men "nest" too --it's not just for the gay laydeez) with my man and just wasn't into blogging. We broke up and here I am blogging again. Le Sigh. Actually, me and my man broke up a while ago and I just was too in the dumps to bathe much less blog. It happened for a really petty reason and I am still REELING from the HURT. Okay, so my guy and me were compatible on so many levels- we both wanted to be upwordly mobile, fit, and able to get in season new religion jeans etc and we both loooooved barebacking and spooning. Match made in heaven?? Ya'd think! But, noooo. He was one of those, " I've been thinking it over types" and it destroyed US. He'd get this idea of how I should behave vs how I act and it often made him see red flags in me. The peeve that broke the camels back(LOL) was that I didn't say bless you after he sneezed or others did. I am of the mind that when someone sneezes I immediately keep all my orifices closed( in this instance- nostrils and mouth)so as not to be exposed to germs. Opening my mouth to express some weird religious sentiment is just not me and would up my chances of catching cold( or worse though I'm HIV - thank goodness(see I don't say thank god as I am an atheist.)
One day he gets home from the gym, sneezes, and as usual I just wonder if it's a sign of him having contracting an illness and then me thinking, " My poor baby." This time he just finished sneezing( a series of three- which is normal for him) and I put my turtle neck neck part over my face and he just goes, " It's Over, Zack, please get the fuck out of my life." After getting over the initial shock of his rudeness I asked him what was wrong and he told me that I was a germ fearing fag and he had grown to loathe me. " After, 3 hours at the boxing gym and 2 at my regular gym I still felt hurt and angry but by the time I got home he had changed the locks etc, and now he won't take my calls and I was really hurt by his rudeness and insults as to me being a fag and whatnot. I called the police and they were very anxious to have him arrested for terroristic threats and a hate crime and to get restraining order issues greenlighted, so that's in progress and I feel safe at least. I have more assets than him so I can't see him responding in any effective way.
Damn, he was hot. Whatever. I am moving on!

I've put on 5 pounds of rock hard muscle since our breakup and so I'm doing Zach's make the best of it magic trick once again. Great to see my blog still here. I have a lot of things to express and I even think I have some wisdom to share and that it might be wisdom that I alone am in possession of. I can't be sure, of course.

Pics of our pre breakup romp at the Gay Games in Escondido, CA

Here to meet my blogging obligations

Hey,
It's the weekend and so I'm blogging. I'm not that into it, to be honest. But, I very much need constancy and structure and a means of expression other than grunting when I do crunches. LOL.

I've been betrayed and abandoned, actually. My homophobic family are all at a reunion in Missoula, and once again guess who's invitation got lost in the mail? you guessed it. I used to get invited and I was more of an activist back then. My dad said that at the 2003 reunion I kept insisting that my grandma was a closeted lesbian and then I supposely got drunk and called grandma a carpet muncher. You guessed it, since 2003 I've been blacklisted. With e-mail and texting "lost in the mail" is just not realistic.
I lived in the Castro from 2004-2008 and had a large circle of queer friends and the social swing and non stop barebacking served to make me forgot the rejection of my family. But, now in WEHO and all my friends in gay marriages or dead and no family... I'm bumming, that's a fact.

I went to the Abbey on Thursday night and failed to connect to anyone special, but I did enjoy the calamari and penne with vodka sauce. I didn't want the penne to clash --so I had a vodka tonic and it was ok but I was too full to get a buzz.

Still unemployed and I broke down and cried when I saw that IHOP was hiring and I felt as if I should apply.

I'm working on a new cabaret act about the recession and it's FUN but since my other cabaret act in silverlake tanked I've been skittish about following my dreams.

Oh yeah, Went to Marix in WEHO last Tuesday and got an enchilada platter... and diareah. Ha. I'm serious, this is the last time i go there even though the bartender is super hot.

What else? Fern McFern has become intolerable since she gets over 100 hits a day and we now have a strictly business relationship. Tarra is healing up and her doc says she'll be able to blog as early as tomorrow. Yay!

Since tommorow is also the weekend I might share some of my thoughs or report on the blue cheese burger I had at Hamburger Marys. But, please don't expect it as my coping mechanism is pretty much NOT WORKING and pressure of any kind is unwelcome.

Koo Koo Roo on Santa Monica Blvd has inferior Lavash

So it's the weekend and so I'll blog.

Had an uneventful weekend due to I think the jewish holiday and now I'm just watching the Fox channel. My new cable jammed up and got stuck at that godawful channel and there is this anchor named Julie Banderas and she is way too hoochie for anchoring imho. She's talking about a story called "Cougar Cruise" and how a big boat is going to get filled with older ladies and younger men. The ladies aren't bad looking but the men are so gross looking and I felt really good being a nice looking gay male today.

One guy just said, " How much does it cost,this cruise" and when he gets told my fox person sent to the cruise area to do the story, he says, " I'm doing them a favor, they should pay me." and he is fat and ugly and I am all about just feeling lucky that I am not ever going to be on that boat.

See, you can tell... I'm not in the mood to blog. I spent this morning with Fern Mcfern as she felt bad that I got so few hits and she got quite a lot more and she just is too animated for me in the morning. I'm a night person. She told me this story and it was so far out and then I googled stuff and she showed me documents and ohmigod it's all true. I had to stop her from posting all the incriminating stuff she has because I think that in this law stuff I heard you have to keep everything on the down low. She's had enough though and I don't blame her. I won't name names as I don't want hostile spammers but ohmigod... some people.... ohmigod.

Updated my twitter pic and put up some pics of me as a baby and a teen-- that really will give them a sense of me.


I bought a loofah at the body shop and some eye drops today.

Healthcare? too self involved feeling to notice but I still think Obama is awesome no matter what.

bye, see you next week.

Maybe I'll just pop a DVD in and cook up some Bertollii

Hey guys,

I think that I'm just going to blog on weekends from now on. I'm finding the lack of hits hurtful and just please respect my need to just limit blogging to weekends.

Was at the Subways in WEHO's and had a Burritto at Los Hermanos but no money is not letting me report on the restaurants and nightspots, as I'd promised when I started this blog and I apologize. I planned to be a style shaper with this blog and so far I have not acheived this.

I'm going to the Cantina tonight but I'm so not into it. I can only date circumsized guys(sinus related) and Rosh Hashinna, some jewish holiday, is tonight and uncut is going to be the norm. And, the heat. UGH. Uncut and sweaty is not my preference when it comes to any serious partnership and I'm too old to mess around.

What else? Lotz but only on Sat. and Sun.

I think that generation and y and z are the only vital members left

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Just saw Bruno on DVD and I have really mixed feelings. I'm not hearing it out there in the culture- but I felt he really made fun of me and my friends and some of our practices. But, the media sure didn't seem to angry about it so I'll just assume it's ok. But, if feel kind of insulted and want Sasha Baron Cohen to see me as the multifaceted person I am. He's cute.

Listening to Adam Lambert singing " A change is gonna come" and sobbing in that hopeful not so sad way

I think it means something or maybe I'm just one of those things are meaning something moods. I got 12 hits on september 12th. Wierd, no???

Twas a doozy of a weekend and cross fingers you'll be hearing happy blogs from me from now on. I met some awesome people and they seem to offer a lot of fun and perks(one is an AGENT!!)

They didn't tell me cause it's kind of a secret thing we all do but don't really discuss-- Googling. I think they googled me and got my cabaret act cuz they seemed to know that I did cabaret once and I could swear I didn't tell them. Either way, they seemed to treat me with respect and I think this blog is going to be a really important journey in my life's new chapter. saw Fern McFern at the pavillions on Saturday but I made like I didn't and I don't think she saw me. She's all about judicial corruption this gross lesbians that, and I just can't deal. She also boasts about how her blogs gets more than 12 hits a day and that isn't cool.

Gotta run, have fun!

lesbians get fibromyalgia, gays get nostalgia. LOL

JTC(Just to clarify tm fern mcfern) that is the caberet act that I did in NYC . I was real lucky and got mentored by Rick Mckay and got to hang with Elaine Stritch but those days are long past. Boo hoo. I just don't have the stamina or funds to launch a cabaret show with TEETH. That frivolous lad in the last post is long replaced by a positive minded but less naive man who if destiny demands-- will launch a cabaret show by next spring -- one that will capture the essence of L.A as opposed to NYC. Or, if by then I am fortunate to get back to NYC it will be updated to include a modern (2009 or 20010 era NYC).

I've been invited to a mimosa brunch but before that I have to pick up some flyers at my gay church(looooong story)and attend a pre brunch Bloody Mary breakfast. Ahem, extra crunches for sure.

cheers,
Z

From my cabaret act when I was 26 years old-- never was enought to sustain my lifestyle but I had some audiences and clapping and very few boos etc.

The multi genre star.


Hello all and Happy, Happy, holidays to you.

I have struggled so long to get this show through.

It ain’t easy being an improving multi genre performer,
Baby
The club owners say I’ve got to find a niche
I say aint no fame a bitch
That’s a nod to my dear A.J Benza
My dear, Frendza .


Growing up in Flushing, Queens, they said that performers were fruits.

I went, actually I escaped, Arggggg, to the big Apple. (Take out apple from pocket and take a big histrionic bite)
I was going to sink these baby whites (smile) into it, even if it killed me in the process.
And gang, it nearly did. I was hooked on the grand life. I took some improv workshops, some movement classes, the whole shabang
Now I am here and its really swell, gang
Tap class: I was pretty good, fast on these light, Barney loafers. Hey and for those of you from (cough, cough) outta town, that’s the exclusive department store not the big Purple children’s dinosaur or whatever.
I am openly gay, by the way. Did you here that Robbie is here to stay. And baby, baby, Robbie is gaaaaaaaay.
I prayed to Judy, got laid with Billy Stritch,
I shot up heroin, prayed to Jesus, hugged my Teddy uh Bear.
And I am still here.
I ran into Whoopee Goldberg at the Met, Brava, she hates AIDS about as much as I do. She was with Celeste Holm (get on floor and do bowing thing) and her dog, her pet
She sat me down and said: It's a tough business, it’s got a lot of sharks in it.
Which reminded this old geezer of that song from Jaws, tries to provoke a sing a long to the Jaws theme—Da DA DA DA DA. Da Da … which started my long-term love of music. John Williams, a dear friend wh has might have since passed away, composed that song.
He told me
“ Don’t let the big fish, eat ya live,
Give them tuneful music, give them jive, use what you learned in Improv class and you will never take the dive, boy”
He isn’t openly gay, I don’t think.
Anyhow, the long trek outta Queens everyday on the Russian Train, I mean the R train with those who wouldn’t know improv or cabaret if it bit them on their size 18 asses. (Mock shame). Las Isla Manhattan, that’s where it was. Instead of émigrés with snow in their hear and greasy skin and those awful hairstyles, you know what I am talking about, people. C’mon you know you think it too.
There was Rockafella center, darlins. It felt that Santa with his roughed cheeks- regal and formidable manner was my daddy and that the reindeer were scratching at my Upper West Side adresses window -- rooting for me, singin,

Get out from the dung
Singin and wrung out
By the pressures you have brung about
Move to the only city
Life can only be pretty
In New Yawk City
Boy
I wasn’t in touch with my sexuality back then,
But unh, I make it my business to touch it every day
And it’s still here.
The little reindeers helped me come out.
Every one know that the reindeers are family. Have you seen Rudolph’s nose, it is lavender, baby.
I say or sing what I want no.
I am a performer and an improviser
I was just built this way, Hey don’t look at my tummy. I put on a lot of weight since I came out and since my Right wing Brother committed suicide.


(sings song with the Bon Jour twins)

Bon Jour twins, dear friends and brilliant lyricists. Blakely Mcall has a wonderful chapter on them in his new book “ Cystalline: lyricists as our new shamans” This seems real apropos to my coming out


Being fat ain’t all that

If you’re gonna be slim inside a closet
Then you are going to get a hanger in your eye
Ever so often
Better to be gay and fat than lying skinny in a coffin
So move away all you suits and sport jackets
This boy is steppin out, out, out and causin a racket
Ties and hats beware
Because I’m still here.

Well this is an odd story, I had to live in Astoria for awhile and there was a Greek man who made his living selling bread and cheese and whatnot. Hey, a man has got to do what a man has got to do. He sold me a big baguette one-day. It was pretty delicious, I must admit. This boy loves freshly baked bread.
It brought about this song deep down in here.

Why don’t water and bread do it?
Give me Zabars cake
Who woulda new it?
That this boy once so afraid
Would take Manhattan by storm
When he thumbed his finger at the “norm”
The Bronx, Brooklyn never had to greet you,
Queens, so long, was good to meet you
Yeah right.
Give me Gotham
Give me class
Give me the met
Give me the Mets,
Uh, I guess not
Thought that third baseman is pretty hot
Give me the home of Zagat's survey
Uh give me the Deegan expressway
No way, oy vay
Give me Whoooopeeeee
Shine on me Magic City
Shine your Tiffany lights on me
Zillions and zillions of them on this boy.

Thank you for coming. I have to attend a wake in about 45 minutes in Indiana, ugh. My right wing brother committed suicide.

The cabaret scene is lacking in L.A = understatement alert

Fell of the blog wagon. LOL. I'm drunk and blogging again. I just needed a vodka vacation if you know what I mean. At first I tried to just take it easy with buy one get one free margaritas at the cantina but I got so fed up of all the woman out today and just no cute guys and ... now I am probably misspelling a lot and am going to say things I regret.
9/11 just is not a party night and it sucks that it was on friday as I am sure I'm not the only one who really couldn't get into dancing my heart out at the Rage to throbbing beats. I came home and the home shopping network was on and I don't know if it's because I'm hyper perceptive but I don't think those people on that channel are geniune. I was really freaked otu that I hadn't noticed that they all seem kind of totally crazy.

Fern McFern was ok and she does share some of my opinions about the hosting situation regarding Paula Abdul, but all in all she is way too alert or something... just can't chil. She was going off on "motions" and these rants about tons of Judges and these two yucky prosecutors and I just wish she could just be a fun wingperson like Lori was in San Diego(loooooong story) She did like my Lunesta joke and she did come up with "vodka vacation" so she'll be fine for happy hours on most evenings.

I wish I stayed in S.D, but I was sure L.A was my destiny. I haven't really gone into much here but I think I mentioned that I'm an aspiring cabaret artist that works ODD jobs or just boring jobs to survive until my dream is realized. This weekend I'll show you some of my work and in time I just might share a youtube of me performing in NYC at an AIDS walk benefit.

Fern Mcfern told me her 9/11 stories and I was sort of rapt so I'll try to get her to share by tommorow.

See ya.

Randy, simon, ellen = the end of the world's best singing competition.

I've pretty much weaned myself off blogging after what happened... and how awful the delete button malfunction feels. I'm twittering but not to excess and I'm making a little cash helping a co blogger(Tarra Slovan of my toxic lady) out as she recovers from a pretty intense multitasking incident.

I tend towards hyperverbalization so twitter hasn't been enough and I too often exceed the character count. Sigh. So, I'm here but not in any tooooo much capacity. I hope I am being understood and accepted as I write this but if not than i need to be a big boy and take my medicine.

Soooooooo, am I alone in believing that Ellen Degenerous will singlehandely sink the American Idol Empire! She will just be soooo incongrous in every way-- politically, socially, and even color coordination wise. Paula, please reconsider.

I wonder if Ellen will dance. I know that America enjoys it but as a gay man her boxy hips and large yet unfeminine breasts gross me out. Portia's cute though and I'm sure they're happy.

I know I should support a fellow queer's advancements into the mainstream but I just want Paula back so bad, as I fear one of my last remaining pleasures is in danger.

Feels empowering to put my viewpoint out there and hope that America says no To Ellen Degenerous's prime time venture. It's just wrong and wrong is wrong, know what I mean?

don't do too much lat work -- without eating a carb infusion bar immediately afterwards

Oh wow. I finally do beleive that when a tree falls in the forest it doesn't make a sound-- even if it blogs. I have come to digest and accept it over the last week but it still huuuuuuuuurts.

None of my twitter friends and only 2 of my facebook friends inquired as to my condition despite some very revealing posts that are still available and that the system won't allow me to delete despite my pleas.


Again, I need to remember that I can't very well count on anyone. This is causing some issues with my liberal friends. I'm in general pretty far left politically and crave and support diversity but ever since this last week and how cold some of my friends were I kind of don't feel too optimistic about Obama anymore. I just meet a lot of Russians in WEHO and they seem bitter and not in shape and I think communism just kind of Petered out. Was that a pun?

Please don't flame me it's just that I got a computer virus today after dealing with no one caring if I lived or died despite really reaching out(see below) and just knowing that there is us guys who surf the internet and those who spend many waking minutes creating computer viruses.

I mean... like, people just don't get along too great in practice. I'm sorry for being so negative -- I think I sprained my lat at the gym and I've been sore(physically).... and the Lunesta stopped working and .....


Whatever. I wonder if that girl who was held captive for 15 years blogged if anyone would come and help her.


Cute guy at gym gave me his number tho and so we'll see. I understand that he's an entrepeneur and that might be great or ... not. He definately is buff and has really succulent cocoa brown eyes. It sucks that he isn't a U.S citizen(Venezuela, I think) and that he is trying to marry the receptionist at our gym ( an awful woman named Lara) but it's not like I can't just play a little...

I'll keep you posted.

Back in the saddle

I'm getting a litte sick of frogurt and I couldn't hardly swallow down my large gree tea with coconut shavings and rasberries. Pinkberries is great for after the gym but I want something new to satisfy my sweet tooth. I hear that mini muffins are going to be the next thing. I guess I can see that.

ZZZZZZZZZ, I'm off to bed and just want you all know that I am just fine and that I've moved on from last night already.


xx,
Z

Norms, Table for one

Still awake and searching all over for the lunesta I dropped 2 months ago.

Can't beleive that I SHOUTED OUT about my issues like that and now something has gone wonky with APP that let's me delete blog posts. I am now sober and want it deleted very badly.

I feel like a fool and an unsuccessful blogger and My priorities are due for another evaluation, that's for sure.


Tarra texted me with her good hand and she says that the hospital doesn't have Wifi and to please check her comments and tell her what they say.

I checked and there wasn't any and I don't have the heart to tell her.

I hate caring so much about people sometimes ;(

I'm just going to forget about sleep cuz I can't afford to at least not look for work and cuz I'm in too much emotional pain to shut down. I only wish it was like the last time when I knew I was depressed because of chemicals and some pinpointable issues. Now, there is literally about 27 reasons and even my therapist is at a loss.

have a great day and wish me luck.

I know its wrong but I wish I had a doctor who prescribed profonol right about now

ARggggg. They say that misery needs company but I just watched a Tivoed Wheel of Fortune episode and the woman in the middle -- an African American from Tennesse just had the worst luck and in .... Public.


Pat Sajak is endlessly pleasant and Vanna still looks stunning. That show keeps me sane but..... that poor lady from Tennesee~

Isn't it weird that we'd talk about that song... considering

Thank god others will soon be awake. I can't bare all this dissapointment alone. I'm flashing back to last evening and how me and the guy who I thought was the one(see previous post) and me were totally agreeing with eachother than Jermaine Jackson did a beautiful rendition of "Smile though your heart is breaking" and then both discussing how much we cared about our elderly parents.

How long can it take to heal in these circumstances, I wonder?

Like Michael Jackson I also aaaaadore the song "Smile though your heart is breaking"

Omigod, you guys. It is way too early to contact my circle of friends but I just need to vent soo bad or I will fall to pieces. I'm now writing this from my car where I am shaking so bad...

At first it was fine and he said, " hi honey" and I was spooning him and I was smiling and imagined him to be smiling and he took my hand and starting touching it in a very intense almost furious way and I was anticipating more hot but safe sex, and then he started screaming and crying and as it turns out he thought I was his wife and he is straight and ...

I hate L.A. And, I hate that I have to keep searching for love or even intimate companionship. I was hoping to cancel a happy hour meeting with a Facebook hookup tommorow but now I'll just end up going. This guy looks ok in his pics and his tastes in the arts is not ATROCIOUS but there is something insinsere about the way he signs every e-mail " Regards." and I know it's wrong but I was so hoping I had a reason to blow him off.

Well, at least the .... married man of my dreams wasn't a serial killer. LOL.

It just takes that moment

Ok. Warning. I am nooooooot sober. Gonna be too hungover to search job listing sites tomorrow but it's soooooooo worth it.

Lets just say cuz I don't want to jinx it- I am now making a mix tape and seraching my brain and assorted search engines to find songs with "magic moment" themes. So far I can only think of that song from the Dirty Dancing Sounding "I've had the time of my life" and Kelly Clarkson's megahit " A moment like this."

I just had an aaaaaamazing time andd I shouldn't be all tipsy and jixsing it and that is why I think the songs I seek are all about a moment and not a more concrete amount of time. I have so much baggage-- but I feel really happy and hopeful for the first time since the downward spiral etc. I'm still worried about Tarra Slovan and feel awful about her accident and her mangled forefinger but she'll be ok eventually and I left a voice message and a text. I also contacted Fern McFern last night and we gabbed a bit via a skidoo add on and she seemed sort of IMMERSED in this legal horror that some yucky lesbian ( I find most lesbians yucky to be honest but this individual who goes by the name "Tig" Notaro is super yucky)got her into. Soo it took me a good 20 minutes or so but I finally got her to go to the Abbey with me and my friends Suzzanne and Rick, who I beleive i have mentioned. She was ok until she started laughing at her own jokes but I'm new in town -- and can't afford to be too picky with my circle like I was when I lived in the Hillcrest section of San Diego. That was 9 years ago come September and I have never have been able to find a circle like that. This was Pre Cunanan and what that man did to that community.

All this goodwill towards women who literally can't offer me anything but this bloggings space and thier keyword know how paid off cause I am typing this from a very hot guy's Iphone.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is taking me much longer than I'm used to with my trusty old desktop but whatever. I finally think I met someone who sees the real me and I plan to meet his needs as well as mine. UUuuuuuum, some of those needs need re-meeting because just talking about him makes me erect. I don't want an adult rating on this blog but I think if that happens I'll gay some gay group to help me out as erect is not a dirty word whether it happens because of a guy or a woman.

Off my soapbox, I tried to get on Datalounge to share but it was Primetime and I'm starting to suspect that their is something funky going on with that website because I can't think of any Time Zone save for the Aleutian islands where it would be Primetime.

My guy(is it tooooo early?) is sound asleep and as far as I can tell the sound of this Iphone keyboard is pretty quiet. I'm a little bummed that he's so sound asleep cuz I feel like we were having a rare and magic moment and I'm a little stressed that unlike me he isn't alert and anxious for to savor every moment. Maybe, love doesn't affect him the same or maybe he's dreaming of me or maybe he's totally not and is blackoutdrunk and will not remember absolutely anything about Us. He seemed ok to me if not a little wobbly as we made love in the shower.

No regrets. He's super hot and cut(which I require due to my sinuses) and he seems like he's not violent or anything. I better join him in sleepland cuz I'm probly making a fool of my self and Fern McFern has this Sister who Fern told me read Moi religiously. She's much cooler than Fern and she is super talented and I want her to know that I appreciate her support.
I hope Gavin(Is that name yummy or not and he isn't even British!) doesn't mind if I spoon him while he sleeps.

More later.

I should check on Fern McFern no later than this weekend

I don't know who to reach out to at a time like this. It has been a really Ruff week for me. First, the loss of Dominick Dunne had left me shaky and now I just heard that Tarra Slovan, a vital member of this blog collective, was found almost dead in her Napa cottage. The really sad thing is that if it weren't for the recyling company seeking to get her bottles and cans, she'd be dead. No one from the various organizations which she vocally supports even noticed as no checks were due till the end of the month and she fell on August 14th. One more day or if she was thinner, and she would have starved to death. I spoke to her this afternoon now that they've restored her liquids and whatnot and she seemed kind of bitter than not even her cats seemed to make an effort to alert ... anyone. This is really upsetting and makes me wonder about loads of things. But, it is Abbey night and Suzzanne and Rick are taking me out to cheer me up because this just about broke my spirit.

So, I'm going to be a good boy and try to cheer up but I just want to send my deepest regrets and warmest wishes to Tarra and to let her know that though I really haven't had a chance to connect with her off-blog I've come to the point that if she did indeed die I would take off work(if I wasn't unemployed)

Gee, life is precious, isn't it?

still writing up 2 restaurant reviews

I feel as being an unemployed out of shape gay man and poor in WEHO is enough of stress factor, and now I've gone and started a blog that no one reads! I'm a spiritual person and attend gay churches but I'm starting to feel as if god despises me. I feel as if like those ignorant and hateful children in grade school who called me Fatty Patty. Which was so stupid because my name has always been Zachary. But, at the time the "What's that Pat" joke with Julia Sweeney was all the rage. Looking at pictures from those years I did look like a fat little girl. And... this is haaaaaaard to say because they are still living and might read this blog by chance... but, I blame mom and dad for those haircuts and how they affected my whole life. I don't blame them for making me gay,that's for sure, as it has made me the awesome man I've become and plan to be, but I blame them for the fact that they allowed me to go to school with that woman's hairstyle, because they were too cheap or uninterested to prevent me from getting hairstylist who was a vicious homophobe. Sure, hindsight is 20/20 and they couldn't have suspected that a hairstylist of all things was a homophobe but He was straight and he kept giving me the identical girl haircut time after time and we did find out that he supported Rev Phelps and his God Hates fags campaigns(Looong story)at a later date.

I plan to put up pics of my hair DON'T's from grades 5-9 that cast me as a freak, basically.

I'm a guyish gay guy. I'm burly and hairy and sweaty and horny(LOL) and all that good stuff. Not that I judge fem gay guys or would't date them. I mean... I do judge sometimes and I wouldn't date effeminate gay men, but that doesn't mean I don't support them as vital members of our rainbow community. I just like what I like.

Last year at Vancouver Pride(The best Pride imho) I admit that I felt judgemental about a friend of a friend's friend who was calling me bitch and letting his wrist go all over the place like it did but I know that those feeling of wanting to kick him were wrong.

Whatever. I need to go back to Monster.Com and hope that someone out there can gleen from my newest resume that I am a fast and reliable worker who thinks outside the box and inspects his superiors.

Bossa Nova review forthcoming,sorry

I don't know what I did wrong but I just have no way of knowing if I get a comment and so I feel all ignored and then see some nice comment that is one month old and it's just NOT GOOD.

Still living in WEHO and trying to get work as a Chiropracters assistant or an assistant to a celebrity. I've been boning up on the newest Linux programs and I'm hoping to add adminstrative assistant to my career possibilitiies. I'm quite good at Powerpoint and have religiously kept my knowledge of Microsoft word updated. It seems unfair that I have to be unemployed like this when I clearly have skills.


I used to have a lifestyle and now I just kind of feel like I have no life or style and am just surviving.


That is sooooo negative and I apologize. I've been hanging around with this individual named Fern McFern and she gets me down. She goes on and on about the judicial system in the midst of like totally unrelated things and It's weird. But, she let me join this blog collective so I try to be grateful rather than hateful. Ha.

Still out of shape and avoiding Santa Monica Boulevard until I'm toned all over.
As my readers know I had an accident(got bumped by a volvo on a crosswalk) ankle issues, and suspected carpal tunnel syndrome(too poor to get properly diagnosed. ARGH). I've been kind of radicalized about Los Angeles Crosswalks. I am grateful that a Volvo bumped me rather than a Hummer and that I only broke one bone and was black and blue all over. But, I just can imagine there is tons and tons of crosswalk fatalities that we don't hear about.

These Los Angeles Crosswalks are just sooooo WRONG. Drivers naturally just don't look down and often keep going despite the anxious pedestrian. When I'm a pedestrian in these instances I have to assert my rights each time, it feels. It's like... I am crossing, don't hit me, I am entitled to cross and I feel cars coming out me but I know they can't hit me and get away with it but still I'll be crushed or dead and I don't have a will yet and who will get the money from the lawsuit. If I'm just really injured than without insurance I am double screwed and my legal rights to cross that crosswalk won't mean shit.

Almost each and ever time I reach the end of the crosswalk I feel stressed. something must be done. Pedestrians need to speak up!


I know. I know I need some cheese with my whine. Fern McFern has gotten me all activist like with her rantings. Still, these crosswalks are EVIL.

Gotta go and feed my terrific dog(his name is Sherman ,and I just bought him at the pound. More on him later, for sure.

I planned to review the Bossa Nova near the Abbey but my wrist is throbbing and I
have no choice but to leave.

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recently let go but Jason Preistley would give me a recomendation

Gosh, tough crowd. I thought that a young hip gay guy's take on Weho would be more in demand. Especially in that I have a snarky side and give reviews of weho's faces and places. I've been hanging out with dear friends and just just praying that my resume hits the right chords this time around.


If Anyone needs a personal assistant who loves to laugh an is super organized please drop me a line. I really want to stay in WEHO and establish myself here as I did in the Castro.

Please support gay bloggers by logging in and leaving a comment!

mimosas are yum

Woke up earlier than usual in anticipation for Brunch. I love Brunch so much more than Breakfast or Lunch and salute the person who came up with this very awesome... mixture. I was going to say Hybrid but some would think that is pretentious and I really don't want negative judgements so soon into my blogging career.




I am smacking my lips in anticipation of the mushroom ommellete with samosas, and the mimosas I plan to order at Ricks bistro on La Cienega!

It feels great to be gay today!

booth b.o

I could be on Monster.com begging for work but I'd rather be in the A/C blogging. The waffles were funky and we swore we'd not give Norms another chance. I am not a breakfast person as I've tired of breakfast fare in my mid 20's but I was still left so dissapointed. The orange juice had a fermented taste and this heat is causing B.O all over town. It took our table some sniffing and time to realize that it were the diners before us or before them and that was a relief as I would hate to think my friends would smell bad. I know that that is shallow and I'll get flamed but deodarant is widely available and I just don't get it.

deep breathing and blogging are keeping me sane

Omigod, I just re-read one of my posts and it said I was hot and soooo am not concieted and meant it in an actual weathercast way. Like many weathermen, I am gay, and I have a desire to report the temps etc, but I wasn't snooty rich boy enough to go to weather school or whatnot so I give it away free as I struggle financially in HELL AY a Chiropractor's aide.

That too could get misinterpreted. I just need to have the heart to post it and deal with whatever consequences arise. That sounds dirty too but you guys know what I mean and I guess my brain is in the gutter cause of my failed attempts at getting enough sex to satiate my loins, last night. I think that was a poetic sentence that last one. One that Ms. Maya Angelou herself would enjoy but I doubt she'll ever bring her FABULOUSNESS to my blog. Le Sigh. Maya, tell Oprah to call me!

Totally kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


More later on Breakfast at Norms with Ben and Serena when I get back.

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Ab man here, snerk!

Only four sets of killer abs at the Abbey last night and all of them.... in a relationship. What a waste of 38 dollars(2 mojitos, one bloody mary, 2 caramels in the bathroom, tip to bartender and attendant. Ugh)

I just haven't been lucky since I lost confidence in my physique. I'm told I look the same as before the accident(haven't been to the gym in AGES) but I'm in L.A and sincerity isn't something I CAN count on. I feel flabby and that' s what is at the core(NO PUN INTENDED- PILATES JOKE)of my inability to commit to resuming a funner lifestyle.

Spend one kinda unhappy hour at Fiesta Cantina's happy hour(6.PM to 7 - 12 dollars for 4 coronas! Yay!)waiting for my girl, Jenny, to show up. She's obese and the bitch boys of Weho all assume she's my hag but she's about so much more than that and doesn't even generally like gay men.

She was really down about her weight and I kept saying, " you look great, girl" and she just ordered 3 appetizers and hardly spoke. I felt soooo bad for her but kinda resented her ruining the hour that was supposed to be happy. Her friend, Janielynn, kept texting her and begging her to accompany her to the Palms as Janiellynn is a lesbian. I try to be supportive to lesbians but I just don't see the point so I headed solo to the Abbey with my new Joe's jeans and not much hope. Whatever. I wasn't being pessimistic. I didn't find a lover or even any conversation.

The bright side :
I'm not hungover this morning and I'm ready to really get toned and in good cardiovascular shape again. I ran across a crosswalk (Asshole Hummer almost hit me)on Huntley and was heaving . This morning I have charlie horse in my legs. I need to get it together, you guys.


Thanks for reading an I'll keep writing from WEHO.

russians and straights are getting too numerous at the Abbey no offense

Blogger is so lame. I am not Tarra Slovan. She is only a member of the blogging collective I belong to. But, people can't know that and so they are not going to understand why a hot blooded gay male is named Tarra and maybe even think I'm a drag queen. I am not. Some of my good facebook friends are and I am not one to judge lifestyles but I am a guyish gay guy.

Anyway, went out to day in a mesh tank and cargos and I still was hot. I predict another scorcher. Normally, I'm okay with that as I tend to stay buff but a recent ankle sprain and some carpal tunnel syndrome has thrown a wrench in my workouts and my muscles are just not as large as they should be. I've been too self conscious to wear anything but my oversized sky blue tank. A homeless woman said I looked "hot" but whatever. Let's just say that I haven't needed to buy new lube since Obama was elected. LOL.

So much to gab about and I'm excited to do so at my earliest convenience. Went to the abbey last night and too many girls with high heels and clutch purses for my taste. I enjoy the company of ladies but these ladies were too..... plentiful. Har. I hope I don't get flamed I just want these ladies to know that some of us don't appreciate them taking up so much space.

Had a hayden Panatierre milkshake at that rad 1,000 milkshake shop on S M blvd, and felt so guilty that I purged for the first time in 2 years. The milkshake was as awesome as it's namesake but when I learned it was 876 calories I just stuck my finger down my throat. Never again, I promise.

Thank god for frogurt as I adore cold treats!

Thanks for reading and see ya around!

Gotta love gaucamole

Feels really quiet in here. I think my template is causing that feeling or the color or whatnot. The profile that is showing up is not mine but a part of the bloggin collective I've joined and so remember I am a gay man and not tarra slovan AT All.
She's great, don't get me wrong. But, she isn't me and we need to work that problem out ASAP.

Feels good to be a gay guy today. Feels real good that I worked my pecs and now it's tank top weather all the waaaaaaaaaay.

Lots of toned and willing butts on the boulevard and appetizers are being served. I have a craving for jalepeno poppers that is INSANE.

Going to the Abbey at like 3 pm for a cocktail. Hoping that I can make a connection as I have been an all work and no play boy. boo hoo. I'll be fine.

Not quite sure if a bloody mary or a mojito. Either way, I'm hoping that my new religion jeans hug my butt just right and that these new religion jeans I got at Ross are not last season.


I feel as if I should review some establishments in WEHO as was the premise of this blog--- Sooo, I'm going to talk about the really amazing nachos I had at fiesta cantina and how LOADED they were. Just full to bursting with melted cheese and fresh and spicy beef and an otherwordly gaucamole. My friend ordered the taquito platter and he wasn't dissapointed. He offered me one but I didn't want to get too distracted with other opinions so I declined.

It's a litte rough to write food and establishment reviews as a newbie and I hope that my viewpoints are respected. But, I understand that I don't have a degree in restaurants and when I call gaucamole "otherworldY' I'm not quite sure I have the authority. I just know that I have a feel for whats fun and what's yummy and hope to share that with as many people that is possible.

Ok, I'm going to shave my chest and hope for at least a hook up.
If you are at the Abbey today say HI.

Also there is a twelve step store on santa monica boulevard and thank go I don't have to go there but I just want to say... You don't have to be an alcoholic to make ammends and you don't have to be a drunk to realize that "Letting go and letting god" is the way to go. I didn't make that up that comes from the wooman who manages this blog. I think her name is some form of Lisa but I am just spacing it right now.


My cell is buzzing.

Ciao

My blog has not been abandoned

Been out and about , and I have reviews of like 9 places in WEHO. One is about the whole Target Best Buy Complex and is lengthy. There is even some poetry about this "pavillion" inspired in my friend, Fern. Gotta love it.

Sunny out, tank top and cargo shorts ,Fiesta Cantina, appetizers at Hamburger Mary's and then a medium Angelina frogurt and then Lat work at the equinox and then ... we'll see. UUMM.

was a fat boy back in Missouri. A fat gay boy who only wanted to be cuddled and to have access to willing male butts and I became buff, red hot, and I still am kind of iffy on whether I'm content. I'm a cabaret artist and we are notoriosly neurotic. More about that later for sure. But now I'm just really trying to launch this blog and express my feelings and thoughts about being a 42 year old gay man living and loving in WEHO and to target my blog to guys like me. It's gonna be a fierce mix of my political viewpoints and my picks for best sushi or fusion or whatnot. I plan to commit to this blog the minute my bankrupcy hearing issues are resolved.

Keep an eye out and Ciao.

East west review and other assorted matters

Hi readers,

Am I right or am I right? That yogurt stop graphic just doesn't seem to make sense when the place is meant to attract gay men and the occassional hag. It's downright porny and suggestive of things that gay men run from. Moving on.

I'll now reviw East West on Santa Monica Blvd.

Antiseptic. That's about it for now. Antiseptic. Fun seems too hard won and fun there might be 8 beers and that is like a hundred dollars with tip. Then, you can't remember the fun and you are destined to try and repeat it and most likely you will fail. I also always marvel at the large amount of gay men that are there and wonder why when they have hundreds of rooms on that strip in which they can buy 500% profit margin beers and cocktails that they are there. I mean I'm all for mixed places and in London that's the norm but I think it odd how they make there presence felt there.
I suppose one could find a power lesbian but aside of Jody Foster power lesbians are not too enticing. Even Jodie is not that enticing since she made Nell and Little Man tate. Actually, thinking about those movies I don't think I could overlook them as I really really hated them on many levels. I mean little man tate was shameful and Nell even more so and so primal she was as Nell, all spazzed out like. And, that's that's the last movie I think I 've seen her in. I loved her in Taxi Driver, The accused, Silence of the lambs, FOXES. I capitalized Foxes because man she was great in that . But, I realize I must stop talking about Jodie Foster because I will soon be falsely accused of stalking her as she is the most stalked woman alive and false accusations of stalking are a modern issue. There is even something called false victim-- where some sad nutbag is willing to falsely accuse a stranger in order to give the illussion that she is being stalked. This delusion makes her feel special and she is in essence "stalking" her nonstalker. Tig Notaro is a "false victim" and she has targeted a special someone and she is being abbetted by many evil people. I don't use the word "evil" lightly. I very rarely have encountered anyone worthy of this adjective. But, when you hear the story you too will conclude that Notaro and her accessories are EVIL.
What a story that is. So many layers. I might tell it here.
I'm sick of waiting for some justice and I plan to expose this ugly ugly case in the midst of my reviews of West Hollywood venues and such. In all probability it will be jarring but it's my stinking blog etc.

Anyhow, I think I've cracked it. I am going to be the premier blogger for and about West Hollywood Lifestyle. I will market it as such and lure gays and lesbians from L.A and everywhere to come take a looksee. Next up: The ABBEY

yogurt stop

Well, hi losangelesgayplacesandstuffreaders:

I think it's about time for a new post. Walked on Santa Monica Blvd and it's very much like it was when I walked on it about 5 months ago. They are still stuffng the bikini briefs of the manequins and the manequins still haven't revolted.

Some changes though on the Boulevard: The milkshake store with the unexpected amount of millions of milkshakes is open and doing a brisk business. Actually, I don't know if it's doing a brisk business and I wonder if milkshakes really will take off in a place of such fat fear. Still lots of men holding hands with men roaming about that boulevard and seeming to have not a care in the world.

But, I've decided that to have a successful blog career I'll need to use a demographic niche approach and try to appeal to a group hungry form information. That group is the gays, that's for sure and so I'm going to really focus on discussing a store a day.

The Yogurt Stop is now a reality. Like Angelina yogurt, there is an image of a woman as a logo. Angelina yogurt has a picture of a pretty and modest women though while this Yogurt stop has a picture of what appears to be a whoreish lady bent down and pumping the yogurt. I haven't yet tried the frozen yogurt and find the idea of pumping my own yogurt to be excessive, but I really would like to understand why on a bouleverd of such massive male gayness these sexualized images of women are being used. My comment section is below this post and if wants to have a dialogue about this I am game.

That said, the place was packed. I'd predicted a few months ago that as a society we'd tire of frozen yogurt in all its forms. I was so very wrong. Yogurt appears to be the poppers of our time and gay men devour it . Or perhaps it is such a hit with the gay men on Santa Monica Boulevard as they feel a lack of culture and get it through the frozen yogurt. That's a hoot. This blog is going to be GANGBUSTERS.

I suppose I should get a pic of the storefront for the yogurt and so I shall.

Milshakes and the homeless

Having been getting out much but I hear that 10,000 milkshakes in West Hollywood makes a decent shake. I haen't tried any of the thousands of shakes with celebrity names but I'm sure one of them is ok-- drinkable etc.

I hear the Abbey is pretty much the same and they still have the chutzpah to not have a happy hour. All gay americans are entitled to a HAPPY HOUR, for fuck's sake. sorry, that was too harsh but I want my happy hours.

Love the go downtown and watch the homeless and the hipster coexisting. Garbages full of half eaten gourmet. I hope the homelss are happy there or anywhere. Geez, you never see the homeless in packs. One to a CVS, one to a Rite Aid. Always, just that one sleeping in a doorway.

Should there be a blog where they can get together or a chat room?

The geeks need to exit the world wide web and figure out how to make the outside world more hospitable. It is not as Hospitable as it should be. Obama, can you hear me!

The most definitive possible guide to los angeles's gay scene ever established

Perhaps the demand for my reviews of places and faces related to Los angeles will be the best way for me to launch my blog career. Perhaps, not. I am compiling reviews of the stores and restaurants that many of the gays go to in West Hollywood. In the meantime, feel free to ask me for a review of any certain place as I very probably was there at least once.

One Caveat: My palate is only semi sophisticated so I might steer you towards unexceptional meals.